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MIKE
skywalkerwalking@hotmail.com

An Easter Story


I always looked fondly on Easter. I had an immense sweet tooth as a child and Easter meant satisfying the "chocolate beastie" (anyone remember that Bar-None commercial?) Anyway, one year when I was like nine or ten...(I may have been older but to retain my diginity, lets go with nine or ten) I put on lofty airs and when my grandmother(with whom I stayed on the weekends) reminded me that Easter was near I shrugged it off and said I was too old for baskets and candy.
Well Easter Sunday arrived a few weeks later and I must have forgotten what I said before because I came downstairs fully expecting to see an easter basket exploding with candy on the dining table. There was none. Curiously, I thought that my grandmother was playing games with me, "She must have hidden it from me " I thought, "She's trying to make me work for it, well that's fine I will find it sooner or later". At first I coolly searched in all the obvious parental hiding spots: closets, under the bed, the pantry......all turned up nothing. I was beginning to get a little frantic. "What the fuck?" She must have hidden it somewhere right? After all, its Easter for God's sake!!
Worried about the look of panic on my face, my grandmother asked what was wrong. "What's wrong?" "How could she not know?" "What's wrong is that I can't find the damn goods", I thought. " Alright I give up......where's the candy hidden?" She looked at me like I was some bum asking for money. "You said you were too old for candy this year so I didn't get you any". Suddenly I felt like I was watching my house burn down. "No candy!?.""I said what!!? And you listened?" I am just a kid for christ sake, don't you know we're supposed to be seen not heard!?" "Whoever lisens to kids? Of all the times to listen......now!!? I thought of all of my friends growing sick from stuffing their fat faces and coming to school on Monday bragging about their loot like a pirate brags about buried treasure. When it would come time, @ lunch , to compare notes on who got what and how much....I would be silent..I would get made fun of, teachers would look a me like I was the kid whose parents didn't love him, who let him come to school in dirty clothes with no lunch!........Oh the humiliation!!! I wasn't ready to grow up yet, cast out into the cold pitiless world like Oliver Twist, no candy, she might as well have taken me to the mall and abandoned me in the parking lot........I suddenly felt all alone....Then I apparently hit the roof.
I stopped talking, all through church I sulked quietly in the back..ignoring everyone and generally acting bratty....(we've all been there, the silent treatment coupled with brattiness can be a most effective tool at that age....its all we as children have or had, this was before the whole prozac, ritalin craze...) Anyway, on the way back we stopped at Rite Aid to pick up some things and I stayed in the car. I looked around the parking lot and thought to myself that this as good a parking lot as any to start my new life as an urchin. W but when my Grandmother came out she had two large bags. After getting back into her green Maverick, named Betsy, she reached into one of the bags and withdrew ...........a Basket!!!! An Overflowing delicous looking pot of chocolate gold teeming with Peeps! Gold foiled chocolate coins!, the hollow chocolate bunny with the edible button eyes!, Cadbury Creme eggs, and my favorite........Egg shaped Reeses Peanut Butter cups!!!!!!! Wow, talk about the fatted calf.....I wept with joy. "Iam loved." "I wonlt be taken to a mall parking lot and abandoned" I would enter school on Monday, not as some poor sucker but...an equal! ......Later @ home, laying in a sugar induced chocolate peanut butter cup coma on the floor, surronded by empty wrappers and half a hollow bunny, my grandmother stood over me and with a chuckle said "Boy, I am going to get you a basket every year until I'm dead!" We both laughed, but like Scrooge on Christmas Day she was as good as her word. She died almost seven years ago and I still get a basket!!! Its one of those thing I don't question like the person who leaves the rose on Poe's grave every year. I could Inquire but where would be the fun in that? Now,when Iam decapitating that chocolate bunny, I always remember how my grandma saved the day so many years ago. Happy Easter everyone, and Grandma, I will be eating a Peanut butter Egg and thinking of you......love..........mike

04/16/06 04:54 PM

happy birthdays/////futterman's rule


Happy birthday to ......A-MAN-DUh, starfish11, loose records, tomstrosity,daniella and nathan. I hope that it is .a .........sound one. anyway Heres something positive that I thought of while in transit on the lovely baltimore MTA the other day, a day when I guess I woke up on the wrong side of the sofa bed and asked myself what the hell I am doing? I thought of what I have since named futterman's rule (no relation to the Beastie boy tune)........Dan futterman played Amy Grey's brother Vincent on Judging Amy,( let it be known that I fucking hate that show and the only reason it recieves any airplay at all in this house is because it comes on right before Law and Order) Now If i was an actor on some shlock show like judging amy simply racking up a paycheck every week (albeit probably a fat one) while simultaneously sucking my soul dry, not furthering myself at all but in a semi-primetime comatose state, I would be asking myself >>>What the fuck am I doing with my life? However, Dan Futterman, brother Vincent, much I am sure to everyone's surprise, has since penned the movie Capote which was great, won tons of awards and was nominated for best screenplay I believe. Who knew that he had it in him? you certainly wouldn't guess it from watching that awful show. I guess what I am trying to say is that noone is ever completely aware of whatever greatness can come from anyone...and therein lies the hope........or something like that.......sounded a lot better while watching some twitchy guy fall asleep with a half eaten banana in his hand next to you on the bus............have a good day.....mike

04/01/06 06:01 PM

something funny happened on my way to the mall

Okay so I was at the fucking mall today, I hate the mall but its like the doctor or the dentist every couple of months you have to go. This time I went to get some new footwear. My feet, well particularly my right foot has been killing me for the past couple of days because my waiting tables shoes are worn out and my running shoes are worn out. So I am in the foot locker looking at shoes kind of hemming and hawing over the prices and am looking around for some sales help. Over by the register I see all these boxes because I guess that Monday is shoe delivery day. I see a female sales person going through the boxes with another female sales person. They are speaking with one another in what seemed like normal tones, when all of a sudden one of them throws her shows down and storms into the back, with the other one hot on her heels. I hear the one go "excuse me!!??" like she's really pissed off and then I see this arm come out and smack her in the face!! Then the sort of senior sales guy tries to step in and I can sort of half see him trying to get in between them because my view is semi obstructed by this wall. I hear some sort of commotion and the guys voice but I can't make out what he's saying. I see the one girl start to come out and then turn around and run back and try to sneak another punch in before the guy once again steps between them. The whole time I am the only one in the store that notices that anything is going on, well, wait thats not true, theres this mother there with her young son who sees everything and quickly snatches up her boy and runs out the door faster than you can say...well whatever, .......anyway I am still wiaitng to be helped and the one girl I guess gets fired and is walking out with her things and the other girl once again tries to run out after her and is once again pulled back by the guy.
Minutes later the guy comes out alone, visibly shaken with an oozing cut on his cheek and acts like nothing happened and nobody asks him about it!! Noone even asks if hes ok or what happened or anything, he just gets back to business as usual. It was quite...odd and more than a little absurd I think. Anyway I bought the shoes and now hopefully my feet will stop hurting because I have to run tomorrow and work so hoo ha.................mike

03/27/06 06:04 PM

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