Well its a beautiful christmas eve..day and I am off to barnes and noble because if any of you have librarians in your family you that a new book is like a new car so........Iam alone@ home now well except for the pug I am dog sitting.......girlfriend and her sisteres went off to do their christmas thing.........and I am going to go to work.......I don't know what it is about the holidays that makes one so reflective...I think for me its a time for me and my mom and stepdad to remember the ones that we lost...namely my dad and my grandmother...both of whom have been dead for some years now. They were both kind of big parts of what christmas meant tome and you know, its funny that you don't even realize it until they are gone. Its kind of like putting a puzzle togehter stepping back and noticing some pieces are missing. However, when remembering them its almost like I can't realize the true potential of my memories with out my mom and my stepdad together...and in that way my dad and grandma are very much still with us and Its beautiful. Its been a wonderful and tough year and although in retrospect I will look on 2005 as positive and moving forward, right now elements of my life are conspiring against me and it will be nice to retreat to the cradling arms of my half here half departed very loving family..and recharge............- think its important for evryone to have that oppurtunity you know.....................I love all of you who hae kept up with my posts and our band and for all of this time.........your support means so much to all of us..........merry...I mean Happy Holidays. Mike lowry