Iam just going to take you through my train of thought of the last five minutes in Subway because I started laughing so hard that those poor little sandwich workers must have I thought I lost my damn mind.......those of you who know me and have heard me laugh know what Iam talking about.......anyway...ahem.......so Iam standing in line at subway waiting to order (toasted foot long turkey and cheese on wheat) and I am kind of, I guess, astounded at the rudeness of the woman whose in front of me, just barking orders at the workers with no "please", no "thank you" not even a modicum of simple human courtesy...almost yelling at them. and so I start thinking "man what are you yelling at them for? Because them you are going to be able to eat. Just let 'em make the damn subs in peace." Next I kind of snap out of it for a second and I hear hear grouch-out a raspy "Thats SUPPOSED to be a tuna melt!" And I'm thinking to myself "Wow this person must just be really unhappy." Imean when you're being mean to people who have so little to do with your life I think its time for Dr. Phil you know. Snap out of it again "Cut it in half please! And I think " thats the angriest "please" I have ever heard. " More eye rolling ....eye rolling eye rolling....shes taking a really long time and I am hungry. then i catch a glimpse of her face and she's just straight up bearded. Like she has to groom it!! Not just a few stray hairs on her lip but a full on easy-e mustache!! Suddenly it all falls into place. I almost give myself the "eureka!" slap on the side of the head. Thats why shes so mean...the mustache....Thats years of latent anger all bottled like a radiator about to blow its top and sejust puffs it out in little angry spurts to people like subway sandwich makers.........Then I think "She's probably just upset cuz shes got a mustache....mean mustache lady" Then I start to kind of smile to myself because from now on she will always be known as "mean mustache lady". I could go to that Subway a year from now and ask "remember that mean mustache lady?" and they would know exactly who I was talking about. Then I thought when people like friends of hers are about to introduce her to other friends of theirs do they offer some kind of cautionary preamble like "You will meet her, Oh, by the way she's mean and has a mustache." Then I thought "man that would suck for that to be the way people find out about you" Then from there my mind jumped back to a conversation with a friend who pointed someone out to me once and said "that guy has a penis like a Coke can!" Thats the moment I lost it in Subway.. i think it was the matter-of-factness of it, my could have just as esily said "see that guy, his eyes are blue", or, "would you like cream in your coffee" So so much for that guy letting his actions define him........... Man it took a couple of days for that one to hit me...retro active.....i think thats the most hilarious thing I have ever heard...A penis like a coke can.....Man thats funny.......even now I can barely type these words because my eyes are still tearing..............mike

ps-oh by the way....coke can penis